So on Saturday the 20th of August 2011 I had my first driving lesson with my instructor, Eugene. Eugene is a white man in his late 40’s or early 50’s and looked more from the south than from New York City with his Wrangler jeans and checkered, blue shirt. He looked as if he just woke up from drinking all night and he desperately tried to fix whatever left of his white hair he had left. We shook hands and he introduced himself and I noticed that he had a few teeth missing towards the back his mouth, so the only way to see them was if he smiled and they would be at the corner of his mouth.
My car was a blue Hyundai and he drove first and then we switched when he found the street where I would begin my lesson. I was nervous and trembling due to all the traffic that I saw around me, but I knew that if I had to do this, I had to take the bulls by the horn. We were in the Eastchester part of the Bronx, with the small houses that very much resembles a suburb but with bodegas.
Eugene instructed me about the breaks and signaling when turning and I was so nervous I almost quit and it did run through my mind that this would be my only class and that is it. But I made my turns, some great, so long, I stopped at the STOP signs, I stopped at the red lights and according to Eugene he had been with worst. After half an hour, I began to gain more confidence and it was becoming easier to look rearview mirror, use my peripheral vision and actually have a conversation with Eugene about my neighborhood since he grew up no far from me. Finally, he put out his hand and said, “good job” and we switched places and he parked the car. That was my class for the day; my first class and I will never forget it. I know for some people they are probably asking themselves, “What is the big deal!” well it is a big deal for me because in a month I will be 41 and to me this is an accomplishment that I will finish and I will pass that test.
On my way to my driving class, earlier, I took the bus and I was listening to Rascal Flats, which is a country group that I really like a lot. I asked the lord to give me a sign that I should leave NYC and ten minutes later, a heavy set, latina woman sat behind me, talking on her phone cell, loud, loud, loud and having no consideration for anyone on the bus. She kept on talking and despite me having my big studio headphones on, I could still hear here more than my own music. That was the first sign because I hate rudeness in public transportation when it comes to phones or people eating or just playing the music so loud you can hear it coming out of their headphones.
When I took the bus back, on my way to my home, the bus was very much empty with about 20 people in the accordion bus. Two black women actually had a conversation from one end of the bus to the other. In other words, one was in the front and the other in the back. They asked how they doing, where you going, you still go to that club, and not once did they had the decency to get closer and have the conversation that way. Well, while this shouting match was going on, a Latino man, with jean shorts that went up to his ankles and a bandana was eating his KFC. I grew more and more inpatient until I realized: “these are my signs!” I got off at the last stop and went to the library to return my videos and my mind was made up.
I could not help but think on how sometimes people of color do it to themselves to be and support a stereotype. We no longer need others to put us down because some are doing such a great job at being everything that humiliates a race and culture. What is it about today’s society that loves being so anti-positive and instead chose to be a caricature of what should be normal? I hear people using the N word into every sentence that comes out of their mouth as if that word never had a meaning and the only meaning that means anything to “them” is the one that matters now. Is it poverty? But if that is the case, then how come others who grew up in the same place do not use it? Why do some chose to support a sub-culture full of nothing positive but rather a distorted version of the truth, of culture, language and race? Is it to fit in? Is it lack of education? Once again, some go to the same school, receive the same classes and live in the same neighborhoods, but yet, stay away from anything that they know is demeaning and a humiliation to any intelligent person.
I see people all over my neighborhood throw garbage on the ground after they are eating something or anything that they do not want. It can be either children, teens or grown people. I see it all the time do this while a garbage can is right in front of them. Why? I still cannot answer that question. This is why I hate it when I hear people of color say, “ only white people live in nice, clean neighborhoods.” No, they are clean because they keep them clean. Your neighborhood is dirty because you graffiti your walls, you don’t clean up after your dog, you blast your music to be heard for blocks, you throw garbage on the ground instead of the garbage can, you hang out in the corner doing nothing, you scream instead of speaking normally. I know that seems as if I am picking on people, but the truth is that no one wants to tell the truth. Neighborhoods do not become poor because a meteor from outer space hit it and everything was destroyed. It becomes destroyed when people destroy it.
After returning my DVD, I walked home, sat in front of the TV and started watching a program about space and the men said something about space, “ in the midst of all that chaos, there is order.” I hope so!!!
